Tell us something about yourself (your blog) and your little one.
I’m a stay-at-home dad to a 4-year-old girl. I’ve been home with her since she was 6- months old when her mother returned to work. I mainly blog about gender stereotypes in relation to girls. As a Star Wars & superhero fan-dad, I was frustrated at how all merchandise was being overtly categorised & labelled for boys. I wanted to call this out, as well as demonstrating how girls such as my daughter engaged with these characters and stories too. I also blog about being a stay-at-home dad, as fathers also fall prey to lazy gender stereotypes.
What was her birth story like?
The birth went well – my wife’s waters broke in middle of night, but she waited until morning when I woke to tell me and go to hospital. Our daughter was born about 12 hours later. My wife’s comment after giving birth was “Well, that was easier than I thought it was going to be…”
Post-Birth, my wife had very high blood pressure, so I took daughter home a couple of nights to give wife a chance to sleep and help bring it down. After 5 nights both were home, but less than 24 hours later my wife was rushed to hospital with complications related to her blood pressure. It was a horribly unreal experience as my wife was in a great deal of pain – we went to hospital separately, and let’s just say I was more than half expecting to be told my wife had died. Thankfully that wasn’t the case
But my wife did stay in hospital for anther week and I took our baby mosts nights. Memories of that time are bittersweet – while the stress and upheaval of what my wife was going through was awful, in hindsight there was another aspect – I had an intense period of one-on-one bonding with our baby. Perhaps that was a key moment in subsequent decision to become a stay-at-home dad?
Eventually, all came good and my wife was back home. One thing we decided on was to give up on breastfeeding, as it removed an element of stress that helped bring her blood pressure down.
What you wish you knew about being a Dad before becoming one?
I guess one thing, which has partly motivated my blogging, is my assumptions about girls – I’m embarrassed to say I assumed they were pre-disposed to like pink, princesses, etc. I’m not sure when this opinion changed, but reading the likes of Cinderella Ate My Daughter by Peggy Orenstein (a book I highly recommend to anyone having/with a daughter) made me question that in a positive way.
How do you balance your time between work/blogging and fatherhood?
In the early days, I would blog at weekends. I would be craving time to myself after a long week home with our child and blogging was something I did for me. The luxury of having an idea and being able to follow it through to the end was immensely satisfying after a week of half finished tasks. When she started at pre-school, then nursery, this became another important blogging time. My daughter has just started school, so that has freed up a lot of time for me blog and pursue more writing gigs. I’m also an early riser – anything past 5am is a lie in!
Any favourite anecdotes of your kid?
I shared one recently on the blog. Our daughter gets quizzed a lot by men (dads) when wearing superhero or Star Wars stuff – I think these men don’t believe a girl really can be into this stuff. It’s known as the Fake Geek Girl syndrome. Anyway, she was dressed as Rey from The Force Awakens and a guy started quizzing her about her lightsaber – but she answered every question he threw at her including how they’re built, what powers them, etc. The guy was pretty shocked she knew so much.
What is it about fatherhood you love about?
It’s hard to pin it down. I love helping her grow. I love introducing her to new ideas and experiences. I love cuddles with her. I love what she teaches me. Being a father is something I have wanted to be for as long as I can remember, and I love being one.
If there is anything about fatherhood you dislike about, what would it be?
The main thing I dislike about fatherhood is the way it is perceived by many. I think there is often a default in parenting to the mother. In fact, often the term parenthood and motherhood are used interchangeably. But many aspects of what people perceive as the preserve of motherhood are important aspects of my parenting and that of many other fathers.
Best Advice you’ve received about Fatherhood?
To be honest, I can’t think of any.
If you can give yourself advice before becoming a Dad, what would it be?
Don’t worry. You’ll get better at it.
Thank you so much Simon!
If you haven’t visited Man VS Pink, please do so now. And you can also stay in touch with more of his musing through FB, Twitter and Instagram.
Have you read last month’s chat with a mum yet? Do check her out here.
I really try to keep my 9 month old out of pink clothes if I can. I actually put her in blue quite often
Lyndsey O’Halloran recently posted…Storytime Saturday: Books for bedtime
Same here, though admittedly T went through a pink stage. But thank goodness she’s over that now. She prefers purple, or even black!
Wow! What a fantastic post! It’s really interesting reading this and seeing how much of an impact having a child can have on your life in a positive way!
Thanks to Simon of Man VS Pink 😉
I’m an early riser too. I find I’m way more productive before lunch!!
beth sachs recently posted…Apple Crumble and Custard Loaf Cake
I’m not a morning person, but I have to agree, I’m also more productive when I wake up early!
Amazing post and well done Simon for showing that it is alright for Dad’s to be Stay at home parents too!
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I loved reading this, such a great attitude & clearly an awesome dad. My little man loves dinosaurs, trains & Sofia the First. Kids are kids and like what they like, I love that he’s embracing that
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When T was younger, she loved Thomas the Tank and train sets, and dinosaurs too. We bought her train sets, dinosaurs and cars without any second thought at all 🙂
I think you’re right so much awesome superhero/ dinosaur/ pirate and other stuff is pretty much exclusively targetted at boys. This needs to change x
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I definitely agree. Thankfully T never seemed to follow the gender stereo types when she was younger, till now actually. She loved trains, dinosaurs and cars when she was younger and we gladly bought her those 🙂
I totally agree about the gender stero-types when it comes to toys. I love it that he’s a stay at home Dad, something more men should embrace if given the chance. Jo x
I think more dads are embracing it the way women do 🙂
Not heard of Simon’s blog but enjoyed reading this interview, so nice to read about stay at home dads
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I love reading bloggers who happen to be dads, they give such a new perspective to parenthood 🙂
Great post. It is so nice to see parenting from a dads point of view!
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Fab interview. Good to read more about stay at home dads. Off to check his blog.
So fabulous and so great to hear a Dad’s voice. He’s so right about the assumptions that girls should automatically love pink and princesses, it’s brilliant he’s giving her another view on being a girl. And she sounds pretty awesome – why can’t a girl love star wars & heroes – they aren’t just for boys!
My little girl when through the pink princess phase, we’re now on full on tomboy “I don’t want anything girlie” – she loves cars and superheroes! And she dresses in her big brothers clothes!
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Same here. T also went through the pink phase, but at the same time also liked trains (she was a big Thomas the Tank engine fan), loved dinosaurs and cars and we gladly bought them for her too. She’s over the pink phase now (thank goodness), loves purple,black and anything with skulls on it. I have to keep reminding her that she’s only six!
I had not heard of this blog before and really enjoyed getting to know about Simon and his family. Great post Dean 🙂
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Thank you!
Looks like they have a fabulous bond. Off to check out the blog now
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Yes, it’s obvious that he has a lovely bond with his daughter.
Fab interview. I love your daughters Star Wars knowledge 🙂 It is always so interesting to read these series from a Dad’s point of view and I love that you are challenging stereotypes! x
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I really enjoyed reading this. It’s amazing to see people like that who break the stereotypes . Can’t wait to read his thoughts on his blog
Anna-Maria recently posted…The Reality Of Following Your Dreams//Huggle
I’m just glad that there are dads like him out there 🙂
Simon – you are an inspiration! Sounds like you’re Daddying in the BEST possible way. If we ever have a girl, I hope she’ll be as geeky as me – although, I can’t even tell you how lightsabres are made so your little one is already a better geek than me! Amazing. Sorry to hear your wife had such a tough time post-childbirth but SO glad it all ended happily!
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